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F*** Frank Lampard. F*** Nicolas Anelka. F*** Florent Malouda.

F*** amateur night at Media Guardian. You thick, embargo-breaking fucks. A 10pm embargo means you're allowed to post it when the BIG LITTLE HAND REACHES TEN AND THE BIG HAND IS AT TWELVE AND NOT BEFORE. This is what EMBARGO means. SERIOUSLY. It's in the fucking dictionary, look it up. In my day you'd be staked out on an anthill and painted with Angel Delight and forced to lie in agony, tarantulas taking a stroll in your pubery, until Christopher Biggins and his jungle massive came to lick it all off with their raspy poisoned tongues.

Oh wait, that's a lie. You'd just get the boot. I'd be harsher on you except you're probably all about fifteen years old and paid flap all.

F*** rubbish shoes from Next that gave me blisters the size of fifty pence coins and have fuck-all padding in the soles.

F*** "human" "resources" "consultants" whose advice to management is "tell the staff nothing". You evil wankers, I hope you get painful bits caught in a mangle. And then you get sacked as well and no one tells you NOTHING about nothing and you get to freak out about the mortgage on your crappy box in Finchley and the megaloan on the poxy Audi twatmobile, that you tool around north London in, playing your shitey Poundstretcher R'n'B and landfill indie. And f***ing James Morrison and all those other dismal mimsy I'm-so-sensitive buckets of shite.

F*** you, Golden Child, we can't BEND THE LAWS OF FUCKING PHYSICS so you can get the result you want, you over-privileged streak of donkey wazz.

F*** you, RTD, I knew you were lying. The instant you said it I thought "Bastard! That means the opposite of what you're saying"

F*** David Tennant too. Okay, not really. Because God love you, I know you have to do it, but I am still arsey about it as a season of Moffat and Ten could have been constructed of purest win. So f*** you just because I'm feeling that way out. YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE SMALL CHILDREN CRY. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WILL HAPPEN.


So. How was your day?

Edited for removal of some fail. Not all the fail, clearly.

Comments

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
chase820
Oct. 30th, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh at your pain. But this?

YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE SMALL CHILDREN CRY. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WILL HAPPEN.

Made me giggle. It really did.

I would've liked one Ten/Moffat season too, but the timing does feel strangely right. I think this means we'll get to see David take on some more complex and sexy roles. That makes me happy, even if the young'uns (too young to see or appreciate the sexy) are wailing.
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 30th, 2008 12:11 am (UTC)
I'd be totally with you, except I wanted just the one more season with Ten and Donna, tooling about the universe being awesome and wisecracking, with Moffat in charge so he actually got his episodes to flow one to the other instead of having cheap jokes and poorish continuity getting in the way of their success.

I think Tennant will do interesting things though. Almost everything I've seen him in lately he's been terrific -- better than he's been in Who, often
fourteenlines
Oct. 30th, 2008 12:25 am (UTC)
I'm surprised - usually this kind of news is splashed all over my f-list in terse sentences, accompanied by wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I'm sad, but mostly because it means my dream of Alex Kingston as companion will probably not materialize - at least not the way I wanted it to. (And let's be honest, that wasn't going to happen anyway.)
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 30th, 2008 01:16 am (UTC)
I suppose that it's because it's not so much a surprise -- only the timing of it is. You might yet get more Alex Kingston. But yes, probably not the way you imagined it -- I'm sure you imagined it better than the BBC could render it
veejane
Oct. 30th, 2008 12:38 am (UTC)
Okay, I feel better for just posting 'motherfucking' in capslock just now.

(In my defense, it was about politics not in my state, that is advertised ad nauseam in my state. As if my brain waves could influence voters 100 miles north of me.)
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 30th, 2008 01:17 am (UTC)
Sometimes, the cathartic post is the best one.

(And sometimes not)

And politics brings out the effing and blinding in me, so you're not alone
kirbyfest
Oct. 30th, 2008 12:45 am (UTC)
So. How was your day?

Full of snot and fleas, you should forgive the honesty. But overall far less capslock-y than yours, it seems.

I'd have liked one more Tennant season.
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 30th, 2008 01:20 am (UTC)
I'm sorry about the snot and fleas. Both sound unpleasant.

Eh, on reflection it's not so much the departure of Tennant as the terrible fear of Jimmy Nesbitt as his replacement that's getting to me. It's not that he's a bad or uncharismatic actor, it's just that I want him to do other things.
kirbyfest
Oct. 30th, 2008 03:23 am (UTC)
Wait, they've confirmed the replacement? Yikes.

Kevin McKidd, baby. If we can pry him away from the crap Gray's Anatomy.
sophia_helix
Oct. 30th, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC)
Ooh, him too (I was suggesting James Purefoy below). I think I'd take pretty much anyone from Rome, actually.
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 31st, 2008 03:04 am (UTC)
No, all will be speculation until the tabs get hold of it. It's not going to be a big surprise like Tennant was, I fear. Just... please, not James Nesbitt.
sophia_helix
Oct. 30th, 2008 12:55 am (UTC)
Sigh. I'm not sure if I wish it had been done the way I thought they were really doing it in the season finale (i.e. no 10.2), or if I'm happy that they let fans know well in advance. It's one of those "sad but not surprised things," so maybe it would have at least been more interesting the other way.

Mostly I just want to know: Who do I have to talk to about getting James Purefoy cast as 11? I've been enthralled by the idea ever since I heard he was up for Bond and I realized that a Dr. 007 would be awesome.
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 30th, 2008 01:22 am (UTC)
I don't know. I knew it was coming and thought it was probably time for Tennant to move on, but it turns out that it makes me sad.

And I fear that James Purefoy is not so much in the running as James Nesbitt or Marc Warren and either of those would not enhance my viewing pleasure.
sophia_helix
Oct. 30th, 2008 01:36 am (UTC)
James Nesbitt seems extremely dour (I don't know him), and is that the same Marc Warren who was in "Love and Monsters"? I am extremely "ehhhh" about either of those two. I want suave bastard Doctor so bad.
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 30th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
He's a decent actor and can be very funny -- he has good comic timing and can play total bastard with excellent intensity -- but no, please, no. Marc Warren is the fellow in Love and Monsters. And he's a good actor too. So is Sean Pertwee. It's just that none of them are right in the way that Tennant was right when he arrived.

Then again, I never imagined Eccleston would be as wonderful as he was. Most of the people I would love to see play the role have movie careers. Or are Canadian. *g*
lizlet
Oct. 30th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC)
I think when next I have a chance to watch TV I've already seen, I'm going to do a Bad Wolf/Parting of the Ways rewatch

This has really bummed me out all day (got a little teary during the conference I was at, which was EMBARRASSING) but I've kept it to myself for the most part. Did not rant about it to my best friend, for example, which was GOOD, as she found out about her dad's WORSENING CANCER and IMPENDING RADIATION TREATMENT this afternoon. My news does not quite compare. :)
lizlet
Oct. 30th, 2008 05:30 am (UTC)
Oh, the reason for the rewatch, btw, is that I need to remember watching it for the first time and being all "oh, this guy is way too skinny and young, this will never do." These will be good memories for me to retain.
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 31st, 2008 03:05 am (UTC)
I sometimes think it's worth being bummed out about things that don't matter because it takes the pressure off things that do. I don't know. I think he's been brilliant and maybe it is time for him to go but I wanted one more season of him. And Tate. But failing that, just him.
parthenia14
Oct. 30th, 2008 10:10 am (UTC)
My favourite line in this was the reference to 'landfill indie', something I've never particularly considered but makes perfect sense as a category.

Still not sure whether it means indie-pop like the Hoosiers, that my 11-year old is addicted to, or indie lookalike bands, or trying-too-hard hipsters like Dirty Pretty Things (although poor old Carl Barat probably dreams of achieving landfill, these days).

If James Nesbitt becomes the next doctor I will emigrate.

Bring back Donna you self satisfied muffins
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 31st, 2008 03:07 am (UTC)
I don't know. I think it was coined to refer to all those Pigeon Detectives / Scouting for Girls / The Script-type bands who were signed because someone spotted that Snow Patrol were making an awful lot of money by writing songs which only have four notes in.

If James Nesbitt becomes the next doctor I will emigrate.

Save me a place on the bloody plane

YES
muridae_x
Oct. 30th, 2008 10:39 am (UTC)
Alas, I am not surprised by this - you get to be able to interpret RTD's coy nothingness utterings to the media after a while, and it's clear that cast and crew are under standing instructions to flat out lie about anything that could give away casting or plot. I am, however, desperately disappointed. I'd have given anything to see how Tennant's Doctor would have been handled under the Moffat regime. Oh, for the 2010 season, or even part of it.

Fortunately though I got over my hissy fit and declarations that I didn't like the new bloke and wasn't going to watch any more back when it was announced that Tom Baker was taking over from Jon Pertwee, so I guess I'll be sitting back and awaiting developments. And, since RTD likes to trickle feed the announcements, I guess the Eleventh Doctor speculation game is on, even if David Morrissey seems a long way ahead of the field at present.
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 31st, 2008 03:09 am (UTC)
I am, however, desperately disappointed. I'd have given anything to see how Tennant's Doctor would have been handled under the Moffat regime. Oh, for the 2010 season, or even part of it.

Yes. This is exactly it. I don't know, I am not sure how Morrissey would handle the "being charming" part of the role. He can do all the acting heavy lifting but his attempts at charm seem somehow, lizardy or unconvincing. I've never seen him in a role which required the sort of guileless charm that the Doctor requires.

I just don't want James Nesbitt. He can be a villain and in multiple episodes, just not as the Doctor.
muridae_x
Oct. 31st, 2008 03:43 am (UTC)
I guess we'll see whether Morrissey can do charm at Christmas, though certainly in Blackpool pretty much all the charm allocation seemed to be Tennant's. I'm just overthinking the double/triple/quadruple bluff theorizing, since we know how much RTD loves to do fake-outs. Since we've already had one fake regeneration, do you suppose all of next year's specials will have regeneration references?

I don't want Nesbitt as the Doctor either, through seeing him as a horrible misfit - though he'd probably do a very good Master - but maybe we're being overly paranoid about the fact that RTD (and before him John Nathan-Turner) only ever seemed to recruit people they'd worked with before. Maybe Moffat will go a different route.
se_parsons
Oct. 31st, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
Hopefully they'll hire someone good and totally different for the part. That would be nice. We could use a mellower Dr. after Tennant's manic nature.
infinitemonkeys
Oct. 31st, 2008 03:10 am (UTC)
I hope so. It's hard to see who, outside the usual suspects though
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )

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