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Ha det

Many happy returns of the day, a bit belatedly, to haphazardmethod. I hope you have a wonderful birthday weekend and enjoy your duvet day.

* * *

(1) I am watching the extended act of desecration and necromancy that is The X-Factor's Michael Jackson night. I beg the contestants neither to sing Earth Song nor attempt to moonwalk. Particularly that pasty chuffer Olly Murs.

They're playing Disney wish fulfilment music behind Joe McElderry's intro. I think they think he's going to win. He's going to win despite a musical backing which even Luther Vandross would have rejected as emetically sweet in 1983.

They're not even trying to find synonyms for "this could be the most important song I ever sing" any more.

(2) David Beckham is advertising for the California tourist board or whatever it's called now. They must be rich – they're buying advertising time in X-Factor. He's been everywhere lately. Yesterday he was at the World Cup draw, him, Charlize Theron, and some suit from FIFA.

It's a pretty good draw for England next summer; the headline in The Sun this morning:
England
Algeria
Slovenia
Yanks

Oh, Sun, Sun, you've heard of hubris, surely. They seem to be forgetting that the United States is one of the few teams to beat the European Champions, Spain, and to put two past Brazil. It's not going to be an easy game. Slovenia eliminated Russia in the play-offs. The Sun has England in the World Cup final already. Anyway, it's a kind draw, but not an easy one.

(3) Oh The Thick of It, how are you the best thing on my TV all week, every single week? I would never have believed you could make me feel sorry for Malcolm fucking Tucker

Jeg er trett. Ha det.

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
timesink
Dec. 5th, 2009 11:52 pm (UTC)
That's an awesome headline.

Do I have to learn the gory details of soccer so that there can be proper trash talk next summer? {g}
infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 12:55 am (UTC)
Well, the first lesson is that you NEVER CALL IT SOCCER. This is the first rule of fight club talking about football. *g*

I think you should learn the details, for the banter after the US's near-inevitable 2-1 victory over England in the first game.
timesink
Dec. 6th, 2009 03:19 am (UTC)
Oh, right, sorry. FOOTBALL.

::checks off one detail::

I don't promise I'll remember, though. ;)
7tree_hugger
Dec. 6th, 2009 07:25 pm (UTC)
There's this thing called the offside rule. If you can explain it men will accept you as their king/queen. I know this because of my learnings.
cofax7
Dec. 6th, 2009 07:44 pm (UTC)
I know the offside rule! How come I am not queen of all I survey?

Signed, played soccer football um, that game, for eight years in high school and grad school.

infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
Can you describe the Arsenal offside trap? For I know that this is impossible for girls
7tree_hugger
Dec. 7th, 2009 09:17 am (UTC)
As an Arsenal supporter and a girl (or woman) I resemble that remark!
(Deleted comment)
infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 12:56 am (UTC)
This is The X-Factor and also Michael Jackson. There is no "too snarky".

ION, how nice of David Beckham to do a turn or California tourism. He certainly hasn't done much of note for California soccer.

Well, he's buggering off to AC Milan for the rest of the season: does that count?
marakara
Dec. 6th, 2009 12:07 am (UTC)
It is funny, ESPN (our big sports channel) thought the US would only have one tough game and that's England. Poor Slovenia/Algeria - no respect.

I don't think the US papers figured out the "EASY" headline but we refer to ourselves as Yanks much (unless it is the Yankees baseball team).

The pageantry of the draw was sort of surprising to me. That looked like the Academy Awards.

Take Care
Mara
infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 12:48 am (UTC)
I think you underestimate Slovenia at your peril (not that it's stopping the British press) because they have the same virtues as the US -- really fit, organised and play as a team for each other. However, I think it would be a shock if the US and England didn't make it out of the group stages.

The pageantry of the draw was sort of surprising to me. That looked like the Academy Awards.

I think that about eight years ago they suddenly realised that the 200 million people that are interested in the world cup might watch if you gave them something to see. Hence Charlize Theron and buckets of spectacle.

Plus it's the first ever African World Cup, and South Africa are determined to make it something special, like when Australia got the Olympics. If they can crack the crime problem, it's going to be terrific.
kirbyfest
Dec. 6th, 2009 03:43 am (UTC)
I'm sorry. I know fuck-all about soccer (it's soccer, you crazy person. Football is big hulking guys standing around then running for five minutes, and it's dull), but K, your icon rocks my entire universe and has made my day a thousand times brighter.

That may be a slight overstatement, but only slight.
infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 09:08 pm (UTC)
Would you like the icon? I am happy to share. No one else has it on account of it is MINE muahahahaha.

Oh, the wrongness that is the word 'soccer'. It has aristo origins and is all wrong
ropo
Dec. 6th, 2009 05:03 am (UTC)
Yeah. If you call us "Yanks," we'll call it soccer. ;-)
infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 09:09 pm (UTC)
Think yourself lucky it's not the Army nickname for the US. Although that would be two S's and EASS only spells SEAS
tabula_x_rasa
Dec. 6th, 2009 06:47 am (UTC)
So if England lose it'll be the Sun's fault. Excellent. My friends will still never let me forget it, but at least I can blame it on something I already hate.
infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 09:13 pm (UTC)
It will be The Sun's fault, it will be Wayne Rooney's metatarsals fault, it will be "cheating foreign scum" 's fault... but one thing it will never be is the England team's fault, because as enny fule kno, they never play like a bunch of donkeys scrumping apples off a potholed field. No indeed.
tabula_x_rasa
Dec. 6th, 2009 10:46 pm (UTC)
No, never! Not even when they miss every shot at goal! Or make the worst defensive wall the world has ever seen!

a bunch of donkeys scrumping apples off a potholed field

That imagine is... not exactly a thing of beauty, but one of lasting hilarity. \o/
7tree_hugger
Dec. 7th, 2009 09:18 am (UTC)
They are weak in midfield. Very weak. It is SHAMEFUL to watch. Even with beer.
vaznetti
Dec. 6th, 2009 11:29 am (UTC)
The Sun has England in the World Cup final already.

hahahahaha. BH and I looked the whole thing over yesterday and the thing is that whatever happens in the first round, we (by which I mean England, not the USA) are bound to meet up with Germany in the second round and go out in a penalty shootout. Even if Germany is kind of crappy this year. And if we survive that, we'll still meet Argentina in the next game.
infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 12:42 pm (UTC)
I know, you're right, but the tantalising thing is that this is the perfect year to meet both Germany – not as good as their previous incarnations – and Argentina. Argentina may have the best player in the world but they are in disarray, almost didn't qualify and have crazy Diego Maradona as their coach.

However, even if that all pans out, it's Brazil in the semi-finals (and under one scenario, Germany in the final). All of which will not prevent the Sun from declaring the World Cup as good as won
vaznetti
Dec. 6th, 2009 02:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, well, if you're going to be an optimist! If you're going to be an optimist, even Brazil don't look completely invulnerable, and maybe England will finally play like an actual team this year!

...actually, now that I think about it, it would be nice to be an optimist about something right now.
infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC)
maybe England will finally play like an actual team this year!

YES! (except probably not)
comice
Dec. 6th, 2009 02:25 pm (UTC)
Ooh, and now, we learn Norsk?!

And you know, I have not much to say about soccer, but I will say, how is it possible to desecrate the King of Pop's image more than he did? Of course, this may be because I say one of those "These Are People Who Died, Died" (Now actually featuring Jim Carroll) retrospectives (and it's not even Christmas!!) and the MJ portion was a crazy slide show of his changing face, and God, I felt queasy at the mutilation by the end of it.

Anyway. I may have had too much caffeine this morning.

Sorry.
infinitemonkeys
Dec. 6th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
Ja vel.

Football. FOOTBALL. FOOTBALL

You make a good point about MJ, but it must be said that the X-Factor gave it a good old try.

There is no such thing as too much caffeine in a morning, I find.
se_parsons
Dec. 9th, 2009 05:10 am (UTC)
You have not even begun to imagine the desecration of the legacy of the King of Pop until you have been to my workplace.
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )