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with apologies, if you find this offensive. I probably have a sick mind

"I was slowing down but Georgann wouldn't wait until I stopped," Everett Williams told police after the death of his wife in a freak motoring accident in Arkansas City.

"We both saw Jesus at the side of the road, with what looked like 12 people floating into the air. She started screaming 'He's back! Jesus is back!' and we both thought the rapture was happening.

"I tried to pull over but she wouldn't wait because she was convinced Jesus was going to lift her up to the sky, there and then.

"Before I could stop she climbed right out of the sunroof crying 'Take me Lord!', jumped off the car and was run over by the car behind."

Officer Paul Madison later explained precisely how the accident had happened.

"What we have here is a case of mistaken rapture. It seems that a motorist, Ernie Jenkins, was on his way to a costume party dressed as Jesus, which 12 blow-up sex dolls filled with helium in his truck.

"The tarp covering the dolls came loose and they started floating into the air, so he got out and tried to catch them.

"The Williams were driving past, saw Mr Jenkins with his arms raised high, assumed it was the Second Coming and Mrs Williams jumped to the wrong conclusion. And her death.

"I tell you this is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force."

Asked to comment, Jenkins said: "This is all too weird for me. People have often told me that I look like Jesus, that's why I thought I'd go to the party as Christ with his 12 disciples. I never expected anything like this to happen. I wish I had gone as Nero instead."

[EAP, 23/08/01]

*cough*DarwinAwards*cough*

"

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
coffeeandink
Sep. 8th, 2001 06:22 pm (UTC)
You're evil
I mean, you almost made me spit icewater on my keyboard.
ropo
Sep. 8th, 2001 08:44 pm (UTC)
Jesus Christ, some people are stupid.
"What we have here is a case of mistaken rapture."

That is the greatest quote ever.
laurakaye
Sep. 9th, 2001 05:11 am (UTC)
oh. my.
you know what? I don't know why I even BOTHER to write fiction, when the real world provides stories like these.

I just. I.

I wonder if he ever caught all his dolls. Or if they floated away, to later spring leaks and drift gently down into people's yards to astonish them in the mornings.

Where on earth did you find that?
(Anonymous)
Sep. 10th, 2001 10:50 am (UTC)
Sorry, kids
...urban legend, found at:

http://www.snopes2.com/religion/rapture.htm

maria
loveanddarkness
Oct. 11th, 2001 08:09 am (UTC)
I can't stop laughing
I've scared cats and now I'm going to have to go to the loo and then splash water on my face.

I blame you and thank you in equal measure.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )