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Cyanide soup for the soul

I am three days into an eight-day work period and I want to kill colleagues. That's not good, surely...



Workshy, dipsomaniacal, scrotum-faced tosspots, I hope drunken students piss in your beer while you're not looking and you and your pets simultaneously undergo non-fatal but messy adventures in diarrhoea;

I hope that your cars get keyed with the words "I luv Justin Timburlak" and "Man U players take it up the arse" by whey-faced feral estate children who are hopped up on glue;

I hope that that all your Christmas presents next year are handkerchiefs, white socks and cheapass lavendar bubblebath;

I hope that your maiden aunts catch you masturbating while you watch "I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here" on your shitty Ikea sofas and bring up "that time I caught ______ fiddling with himself" in front of your partners and parents at every family gathering from now until the crack of doomsday.

There. I feel better now.

* * *

I still haven't found a web provider that permits remote loading so that I can use my custom mood icons. Bastards.

* * *

In other news Michael Moore's "Stupid White Men" is a little too ranty even for me. Same with John Pilger, I can only read so far before I start muttering "Oh come on".

Not that I don't agree with a lot of what he says, just that I find he sometimes makes conspiracy-theory connections which he does not support by anything other than paranoid suspicion, and that does a disservice to his argument.

It's just tiring to read too much of it, particularly in that breathless, outraged and cod-confessional tone he has. His style is far better suited to journalism and a really tough editor who would make him firm up his facts.

Also, Mark Thomas is funnier at that sort of thing.

If you like "Stupid White Men" though, may I recommend Jon Ronson, whose book "Them: Adventures With Extremists" is gently absurd and not a little frightening. I particularly loved his encounters with Omar Mohammed Bakri, who runs al-Muhajiroon. Al-Muhajiroon is an extremist pressure group which wants to turn Britain into an Islamic Republic. Given that our national religion is tea, Coronation Street and getting plastered on a Friday night, I don't give much for their chances. However, the way that Ronson exposes Bakri's foolishness and cowardice, and even the dangerous bugger's few good points, is a great read.

And, of course, the inimitable David Icke, who believes "The X-Files" is a documentary and the world is run by strange, warlike lizard people in disguise. Looking at Donald Rumsfeld, one is forced to consider his theory. *g*

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
ex_ajhalluk585
Apr. 25th, 2003 03:12 pm (UTC)
Actually, was all in favour of Ronson book until saw jawdroppingly guache grammatical or whatever fuckup in opening chapters. Which can nolonger remeber.
infinitemonkeys
Apr. 25th, 2003 03:18 pm (UTC)
I work in newspapers. My tolerance for jawdroppingly gauche grammatical fuck-ups is neverending. Which is probably the problem. *g*
se_parsons
Apr. 25th, 2003 03:13 pm (UTC)
Have you read Al Franken's stuff? His story about getting kicked off the Nixon press bus is so AWESOME.

It's like what Michael Moore's SHOULD be.

And you do better insults than anyone I have ever known.

You are not, by any chance, ill, are you? Ropo seems to have escaped unscathed, but I am on week 4 of illness and thus am concerned about spreading it to others.-
infinitemonkeys
Apr. 25th, 2003 03:24 pm (UTC)
Feel better soon.
Nah, I came back with a vile cold but it was a pale shadow of yours and qowf's. No Italian night at the phlegm cafe for me, but it didn't stop me whining "I have Saaaaaaaaaars" to anyone who would listen. (I am easily amused, thank god)

Can't these useless bloody doctors do anything for this near-constant sinus/bronchial tubes misery of yours?

And I haven't read Al Franken. I shall hit the internet tomorrow at work.
cazling
Apr. 25th, 2003 08:45 pm (UTC)
Hmm. Could you just use Snapfish.com for your icons? I assume you could upload them there like any other picture...they permit remote loading, as I know since I cunningly use them to host any photos I want to show off in my LJ.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )