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Harry Pothead gets philosophically stoned

So Prince Harry went out last summer and the year before and got wankered at the local pub ( which, if what I heard on the radio this morning is right, is called The Rattlebones. What a NAME.) and then he smoked a little weed. He also did this at Highgrove (and never was a name more apt) Forgive me if I am not surprised.

He is overprivileged and really, really not very bright at all and runs with a rich, fast crowd. He has had a very tough couple of years. Also he's a *teenage* boy. The only surprise here is that he took enough time out of his busy masturbation and plook-squeezing schedule to get to the pub in the summer holidays.

Maybe his dad's treatment worked -- taking him out to a rehab unit and making him listen to addicts.

Or maybe I give it three years before he's out hoovering up Bolivian marching powder in the bogs and "yah, yah"ing with his hooray henry mates at the Met bar. It's nice to know that I will be paying for this.

Huzzah for the civil list.

* * *

Big mwahs to C and M who stopped me making an arse of myself on Saturday with a story which was a bunch of arse. Muchos gracias. I will watch the tape again.

* * *

Oh Merkins, how I adore your president, who is a constant source of amusement in these dark, dark days.

So Dubya chokes on a pretzel. How much longer before we get live, on-air technicolor yawning … la dad Bush? Because I think I would like that.

Actually maybe this whole pretzel thing could be a plan. Perhaps the allied forces could bomb suspected Taliban hideouts with a similar brand of pretzel in the hope that they might all choke to death. Of course, these would be highly targeted and clearly marked with the words "Evil dudes only" in Pashtun, so that there would be no collateral damage. That works so well with the bombs.

Stealth pretzels! Smart snacks!

Oh wait, they don't have American football to watch. Dammit. Besides, I think the Taliban's favourite spectator sports were lashings, stonings and executions, no?

I adored Dubya saying his dogs "showed some concern". How can he tell? Maybe Uncle Dick Cheney taught him that when someone makes the frowny, jowly face, it means Georgie has done a boo-boo.

* * *

Meanwhile, I hear that America has shipped the first of the al-Qaeda/Taliban fighters to Guantanamo Bay in preparation for their trial under military jurisdiction. They have done this by putting them in chainlink cages for the flight and by forcing them to shave off their beards. Their trial and detention is not being covered under the Geneva Convention, on the grounds that these people are not legal combatants, which is, I imagine, news to them.

It strikes me that this is unwise.

Much as I would wish those fanatics out of existence, like NOW, in darker moments, I think that if your foe is a small group of insanely dedicated people who believe you have humiliated their religion and subjugated a whole series of groups they claim as their people who also share that religion (albeit the real version and not some fucked-up, misanthropic parody of it), then it is best not to humiliate them in a way which directly impacts on their religion -- i.e. by shaving their beards off, putting them in cages -- and letting the word get out.

And if you refuse to apply the Geneva Convention to a group of people who a sizeable proportion of the world *do* recognise as soldiers, no matter how they might disagree with that fight, then when *your* soldiers get captured, you cannot expect them to be treated in accordance with the Geneva Convention.

Now the Geneva Convention is no picnic. It doesn't guarantee that your cell TV gets "Sex and the City" and you have sticky buns for tea, but it does stop a modicum of ill-treatment of prisoners and it is recognised widely.

I sympathise with the argument that they don't deserve to be treated as anything other than animals after what they did, both in the US and to their own people, but isn't the thing that marks out a civilised nation that it maintains a certain level of human rights, according to recognised international law, no matter what has been done?

I don't like the US doing this and I dislike my own country's acquiescence to and culpability in it. Our law should be more powerful than their bombs. We're better than this.

* * *

I had a fairly unproductive day today. Woke up at 9am, could NOT be arsed to get up until 12. I watched about two hours worth of "House Invaders" (nasty, tacky home makeover show) from a horizontal position. Bad sign. Anyway, I managed to get to the post office by 2pm, where half the cast of EastEnders and a bloke with extremely bad Tourette's Syndrome was in the queue. It smelled of pee and there were three violent slanging matches while I was there. Ah, life's rich tapestry.

Then I went to Homebase since I have to give the car back next weekend. (My dad thinks he's going to get the okay to drive next week, but he is the only one who does) Ye gods and little fishes, I spent too much money, but I needed everything I bought and I could've spent double.

I now have a grout mountain. No tiles yet, since the bathroom has yet to be replaced, but I own more grout than God.

I am on my fourth plumber. The first three didn't turn up. I think if Wide Boy Eddie doesn't turn up tomorrow I shall cry.

[edited 15/01: Eddie is here! I love Eddie.]

I have to pay him in cash so he can cheat the taxman and he's well dodgy. This could all go hideously wrong.

But at the moment my entire living room furniture consists of the new bathroom suite, in boxes, a shelving unit full of videos and the TV. I watch TV sitting on a duvet, leaning against a beanbag and a very large stuffed dog my dad gave me when I was seven.

I know it's eccentric of me, but I think furniture would be nice.

* * *

Having said all that, I watched much TV this evening and the best thing I watched was the XF rerun, Bad Blood. I can understand why people really don't like this ep and why they have issues with Gilligan despite his obvious gifts, but I choose not to analyse right now. I just enjoy it as 'not real' in the same way that Hollywood A.D. is not real.

I love analysis of TV shows/books/films etc. Love it and seek it out and revel in the fact that really smart people can take something I liked/loathed and make me turn it over and over in my hands, studying the seams, admiring the craftsmanship, finding the meaning. But sometimes it is just NO damned fun.

Sometimes it sucks the fun away because you see the flaws without remembering why you liked it so much. I think I've buggered up Harry Potter for myself by thinking about it too much.

Similarly, XF was buggered up for a long time because I was seeing what it used to be through the prism of all the things I don't like about what happened post-season six. But I think I'm getting to the point where I can enjoy things about all seasons again and that is nice.

"Dearest Dana" is still a bag of shite, though.

I DL'ed some stuff from Trust No1 and I think that no one is asking the truly scary question -- why has Scully given birth to Grant Mitchell?


* * *


Another excellent programme was on BBC Knowledge, which is rapidly becoming one of my favourite channels. It was all about the evolution of British English from 1980 to the present and how people under 35 have far more fluid accents than the previous generations and the prevalence of estuary english. (I speak a mixture of slightly northern-inflected standard RP and estuary English. Except when I am speaking to my mother when I slip into a real northern accent. Odd.)

My favourite bit was when they contrasted Tony Blair's off-camera speaking voice, which is pure standard RP, against his on-camera speaking voice to show that he "downshifted" his accent for the cameras, inserting the glottal stops that are characteristic of estuary english, using the Australian-influenced Rising Intonation, peppering his English with slang... Off camera? Pure Oxford boy.

(Wanker. Puddle-shallow, hypocritical wanker. I'd vote for someone else but they're worse. )

* * *


I watched the Farscape ep Fractures today. It was very good. Beautifully angsty, lovely D'Argo/John moments, and Aeryn a towering presence for all that she had about six words of dialogue in the entire 45 minutes. Oooh the pain. I loves me a bit o' pain and suffering from fictional characters. It also sets up the final four episodes pretty well.

How, oh how, oh how shall I ever wait until next week for the continuation?

[snerks cruelly.

runs away fast.



( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 15th, 2002 03:30 am (UTC)
Huh? There are people who don't like "Bad Blood?"

I'm glad Eddie showed up, even if he's well dodgy. Good luck with all things plumbing and grouty.
Jan. 15th, 2002 05:56 am (UTC)
Bad Blood
> Huh? There are people who don't like "Bad Blood?"

Well, I think there are people who take issue with Mulder staking that boy to "death", and with both Mulder and Scully's lack of concern about it. There may be other things people don't like -- I'm not sure. Personally, I love the episode, but then I'm exceptionally shallow. *g* I try not to analyze too much.


Jan. 15th, 2002 06:58 am (UTC)
I think the issues were these:
(1) The boy has been killed and both of them harbour suspicions that Ronnie Strickland is a human, despite Mulder's assertion that he is a vampire, yet both of them are more concerned about their own futures and that the FBI is being sued for 445 million, or whatever it was.

(2) Scully is performing an autopsy in an utterly slapdash manner and being more concerned about Sheriff Hartwell's pretty little face than the demise of Mr Funt or the other victim.

(3) Given that the story is told in tandem from both their viewpoints, they *really* don't like each other much.

From Scully's perspective, Mulder is rude, overbearing, takes her utterly for granted and is borderline insane in his belief in the supernatural, pulling theories from everywhere, including his arse. He fails to see her fatigue, ignores her theories even though they are based on rational suppositions and mocks her.

From Mulder's perspective, Scully is unprofessional, rude, cold, whiny and dismissive of his carefully-posited theories out of a close-minded arrogance.

These first three are fairly indisputable, the fourth... hmmm. No. But I think it's an interesting point

(4) This was only pointed out later on atxa. Bad Blood is in many senses a tribute to the horror film, as well as the Kurosawa film (name omitted cos I've forgotten whether it's rashomon or Yojimbo or another). It cleaves to the vampire flick stereotype of the bloodsucker being seductive in the end scene with Scully and Hartwell. This is made explicit in the dialogue. He drugs her coffee as they speak about it. When we next see Scully she has walked back to town after waking up in a graveyard. She's wearing Hartwell's jacket. In horror flicks, this is usually code for "have shagged".

In light of Vince Gilligan's tendency to make light of sexual violation -- Eddie Van Blundht in "Small Potatoes" is a rapist played for laughs; in Roadrunners the penetration of Scully by the slug is very specifically coded as a male entering a female ("it's a *he*?') and then in the end scene she *apologises* (fume) -- some people have seen this as a further example of an unpleasant tendency which the writer will not even acknowledge and which turns up as regularly as buses.

Vastly varying mileage obviously. And I did hear that the possessed one in Roadrunners was meant to be Mulder and Scully would have been in the Doggett role.

I like Bad Blood but I don't consider it "real". I like to do these nitpicky things.
Jan. 15th, 2002 05:47 pm (UTC)
These first three are fairly indisputable

I don't think they are, actually. (And I think the fourth is bollocks, because it never even occurred to me until I was reading X-Review, and I still don't see it as a reasonable reading.)

(1) Paula Graves argued that they were both in denial because they couldn't stand to think about perhaps having killed a human, but I have to say, sadly, I think that's bollocks, too. I just shrug and chalk it up to "humor episode," although I think you could also profitably consider it seriously, as part of the general exhaustion, despair, apathy, and self-absorption that is characteristic of S5. (I love S5. But that's because I love the angst. They're incredibly miserable for most of the season, even for them.)

(2) and (3) Unreliable narration. I know Philes use this as an excuse for everything, but I believe it's really valid in this case. "Bad Blood" is explicitly presented as a mesh of conflicting and partial viewpoints, and it's a parody of "El Mundo Gira," which does the same thing. Scully may really have been that sloppy about the autopsy (she certainly was in "Folie A Deux," which has to be taken at face level), but in this case, I don't think she's gotten there yet. I think the sloppiness is exaggerated in her recollection, because she was tired and pissed off and didn't want to be there and doesn't want to be going over this.

As for bad opinions: we're seeing their cranky and/or fearful viewpoints. Do I think they think of each other that way when they're in bad moods? Yeah. Do I think they think of each other that way all the time? No.

And when we get the bits that are in a more reliable narration (the bit where they're waiting for Skinner and the bits where they're back in Texas), they're all over protecting each other again. Though there's still quite a bit of sexual display there.

I like "Bad Blood" and I *do* consider it real.
Jan. 15th, 2002 09:03 am (UTC)
Big mwahs to C and M who stopped me making an arse of myself on Saturday with a story which was a bunch of arse.

It was not. Just had that one little bit. You could have tweaked the characterization and set it after AHR and it would work fine.

*stoutly ignoring the neener*

If I send you foodstuffs and/or books or something from the US can I get a converted tape of the final 4 from you? Because I don't think I can remain unspoiled for 4 months, I simply don't have the willpower.
Jan. 15th, 2002 09:21 am (UTC)
Okay, the Dubya dog thing made me laugh my getting-bigger-by-the-day ass off, at least metaphorically.

I was rooting for the pretzel.

Good to hear from you. Huzzah for nice new bathrooms! Huzzah for plumbers that show up! Huzzah!

Jan. 15th, 2002 09:36 am (UTC)

For some reason that phrase has been stuck in my head since I read it. LOL. ;-)

And bully for the pretzel. Jon Stewart was hamming with Lesley Stahl on the "Daily Show" last night whether or not the pretzel was the REAL story. My guess? He went on a coke binge and passed out on cheap Afghani heroin from the Northern Alliance. ;-)
Jan. 15th, 2002 11:39 am (UTC)
What we're doing in violation of the Geneva Convention won't matter here until Americans are the ones being tortured. We are a nation of hypocrites who say we're all about freedom and justice and then go around violating our own principles whenever someone thinks it's expedient. I only wish George W. Bush was in the hands of the Taliban right now.

Yeah, they're animals, but now we are, too. We've proven them right when they say that we care only about exploiting them and that we think we're better than everyone else in the world. That sickens me. We've made the terrorists right.


Hooray on plumbing! Hooray on the accumulation of possessions. Furniture is a goodness. But until you get it, packing crates work marvellously. ;-)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )