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Who ya gonna call? Um... Wide Boy Eddie.

Reading the email/LJs of people of whom I am fond, I notice a definite melancholy. May there be better times ahead for all of you. I'll sacrifice an aubergine to the great god Ooojamaflip, who is wise in all matters and has a really good smiting thing going on, that this might come to pass.

* * *

Beta-read my first piece of Buffyfic this week. It didn't actually require much work, as the woman what wrote it is aa creator of succinct and incisive prose, but I do feel proud that I persuaded the writer to use the word "bollocks". My work is done. *g*

* * *

So there is better news. If I get laid off, chances are I can get a couple of shifts a week where I used to work. My old boss (who I have slagged off in the past, and I now feel guilty about that -- but not much) said to my mate Suzanne that if I do get laid off, she will try to get me my old job back. I am scheduled to talk to the man who first gave me a job in the building on Friday, when I will express a wish to go work downstairs again. This may work. Also, they have a union agreement of no compulsory redundancies.

Also we just had a meeting of our chapel of the union (in the pub, natch) and the MoC says she's won a new layoff deal -- the absolute worst package I could get would give me a tax-free payoff of £21,000, which I could live on for a year, if I ate noodles for six months. Huzzah etc.

I love working for a charitable trust. They feel so guilty when they have to behave like a proper business and lay people off.

I have made peace with my mother after our little falling out over her being upset with me because I cannot resist the effects of a world economic downturn. Her parting shot: 'Oh well, I suppose it's not so bad, you could be like your cousin Tony"

My cousin Tony is in jail. [bangs forehead on desk] *g*

Anyway, I feel it is time to call in Wide Boy Eddie for more work on the house, given that I now have the prospect of a money cushion. Principally, the whole 'having no electricity sockets/bathroom window falling out" deal is not working for me. I reckon it will cost me a monkey* at least.

[*Cockney slang for five hundred quid.]

* * *

This next bit is for Evil. The rest of you can move on...

So yesterday I mastic-ed the bath -- mastic is a noxious white gunky rubber adhesive, which is innately flexible and links the bathroom wall and the bath to prevent drips. I spent most of yesterday peeling the damned stuff off my hands, which is worrying because it's semi-toxic.

I also painted the bare plaster with PVA diluted 4-1 with water. PVA is powerful glue and when you dilute it, it acts as a waterproof primer. It's particularly good for adhesion when it comes to grouting. Which I will, as soon as I buy some tiles.

Tomorrow is buying tiles and also MDF -- medium density fibreboard for those of you who do not watch "Changing Rooms" -- with which I am going to build a small bathroom cupboard.

Also pine, with which I am going to build shelves in the living room, although this will take some time, as I am using two pieces for each shelf, glued together with the grains going in opposite directions, to halt buckling under the weight of books (the two pieces sort of work against each other, like bimetallic strips. They will also have to be finished very carefully and varnished, so that they do not look like shite.

Then I'm gonna build a fire surround in pine. I have power tools. I am D.I.Y. woman, hear me roar.

Basically this home improvement stuff is like Lego for adults. The magazines are porn for people who are sublimating. I know whereof I speak *g*

* * *

On an unrelated note:

Apparently "Triangle' does not piss me off after all, as I've watched it again since Monday.

The first time I ever watched that was the very amusing night I first met C. I got back to the YMCA in SF, all cheery because of the good evening and because it was only the second time I had talked about fic out loud with someone who understood, and there it was, in all its very fuzzy, clapped-out-TV glory and I squealed with pleasure.

I don't have a show like that now, probably never will again, but I am glad I did once.

Meanwhile my BLOODY ex-flatmate taped over my copies of BrandX/Hollywood AD with "Beautiful Girls" and I am most narked. I mean, really, how does God allow a person to tape over Hollywood AD and yet STOP the tape in order to preserve the heinously awful "Fight Club"? What kind of fucked up world is that, hmmm?

Actually, if there had been taping over "Je Souhaite" or 'Goldberg", I would seriously have thrown my rattle out of the cot but as it is?

Serenity. I will live. *g*

* * *



( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 24th, 2002 07:31 am (UTC)
Yay for all the good news! I was seriously worried. (Yea verily.)

Home improvement *is* the crack. I'm feeling the need to do some and I'm in a damned apartment. Bleah.

::hugs:: Your mother is clearly insane. You're doing wonderfully. My parents are over the moon that I'm managing to stay financially afloat, and thus I say that your mother should be, too. ::waves magical fairy wand::
Jan. 24th, 2002 10:20 am (UTC)
Good news on the job front. Hooray!

Putting in windows is not very hard. It basically requires a level, shims and screws as the windows come all pre-done to size in a little box that just goes in where the old one was. And, if it's in the bathroom, there's always the option of using glass brick blocks with vents so you don't have someone peering in at your nekkidness. But, then, it's most likely cheaper to just get a regular window. And they have these kits where you can frost the glass so people won't see in.

This is assuming your window is over the tub, where they always seem to be.

I would hire Eddie to do electrical work. It makes me nervous other than the changing out of light fixtures, running extra cable/phone lines, putting in a dimmer switch sort of thing.

I simply HAVE to find some way to send you Better Homes and Gardens Do It Yourself. It is the BEST home improvement magazine EVER. Even better than Renovation Style, which is my second favorite. It comes complete with PLANS to build your new porch or reface your kitchen cabinets or build a fireplace surround. It is the CRACK. My latest issue came yesterday and I worked myself into quite a froth lusting after the fabulous stuff inside. If only I had a home to improve.

I have, however, been repairing the water damage to my dining room ceiling/walls. It was caused by the asshats my landlady hired to renovate the upstairs place. Water leaked down from the bath, ruining my dining room and the one in the basement apartment as well. The grout in my tile has also begun to come loose because of water damage to the wall behind it. I'm doing it myself as I don't want her hiring the same asshats to drip paint and KillZ and everything else all over my carpet and stuff.
Jan. 24th, 2002 11:59 am (UTC)
sheesh. Clearly I should just hire SEP to come and replace my windows, rebuild my shed, fix the hole in the kitchen wall...

All I feel up for is pulling carpet and painting. Which is enough at the moment.

How much do I love the name "wide boy Eddie"? A lot, a lot.

And thank you for refraining from neenering about Ep. 320. I may go online this weekend and see if I can find 319 and 320 on the binaries ng. I'm a crack addict, I am, I am.

Jan. 24th, 2002 01:43 pm (UTC)
How fast is your connection? You know Lena can download whole episodes of things from Morpheus overnight and burn DVDs. I might ask her for the crack hookup.

I think I would totally be up for a trip to California to work on your house. You should make it a party and invite your insane friends. Really, the shed could be done in a weekend with more than just two of us working. We could even do it much the worse for drink. The hole in the wall can be done in an evening.

I shall e-mail you privately with shed-building questions and plan details.

You have all those wine-bottling friends. Can't you get them to help YOU do something for a change seeing you do things for them all the time? Surely one shed is worth how many days of harvest and bottling? If I had a shed that needed rebuilding I'd invite the Chicagoans over, make a big pot of chili or somesuch and put them all to work. And they'd come, too, as it would be fun.
Jan. 24th, 2002 01:57 pm (UTC)
Quick answer:
I am a lazy arse.

Long answer:
I am a lazy arse who would rather spend time climbing, reading, and writing than working on the house.

But I did plant tulips last weekend, yay.

This weekend time will be spent yanking carpet up and piling it in the garage for eventual transport to the dump. Possibly painting, too, or visiting Home Depot with the niece. Or, um, not.
Jan. 24th, 2002 02:36 pm (UTC)
It all depends on how much these things need to be done. Inside non-structural work, who cares if it doesn't bug you?

If the shed is structurally sound, ok. But if it's not and you let it go too long, you'll have a falling down shed on your hands. That is a bad thing.

I don't have a clear picture of it in my mind. I know it's in the backyard part.
Jan. 24th, 2002 02:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, and there's the whole fact that I am totally insane, you know.

So I wouldn't worry or compare yourself to me at all as I am on the INSANE/MANIC side of the scale and you are at normal.
Jan. 24th, 2002 01:33 pm (UTC)
Evil will fix my lawn.
Evil can fix everything around the home but she's hell on wheels in the garden. Like avenging angels, she is, wielding stump killer and deadly poison.

Best of luck on the bathroom repair, m'dear. And hoo-ruckin'-fa on the lovely benefits if the axe should swing. Over here, we get two weeks and a "thanksverymuchbutnothanksdon'tletthedoorhityouonthewayoutbythewaythecontentsofyourofficeareinthisboxohandsignthispleaseandwewon'tholdupyourunemployement."

Still, I'm hoping the best that you won't have to face anything unpleasant on the job front.

Speaking of which, I should go and work.

Jan. 24th, 2002 03:05 pm (UTC)
Whoooo! MDF!!
MDF is the crack. I have none, sadly, as I live in the colonies, but I know whereof you speak due to my unhealthy addiction to "Changing Rooms." Last night (well, this morning at 2am) they played the episode where the couple had that totally empty room with cement floors and Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen painted it red and painted the floor in a black & white checkerboard pattern, and the wife just HATED it. And then she was terribly English and apologized for hating it. Oh, it was like a project in a psychology class, I tell ya.

Yay for the job stuff not being as bad as feared!

And yes, your ex-flatmate is lucky she didn't tape over "Je Souhaite." We all would come over to help paint and do some murder.
Jan. 24th, 2002 03:08 pm (UTC)
*sing* "You can't touch her she's part of the union..."

Okay, so they *can*, but thank God for renegotiated settlement packages.

Fuck this media slump. Fuck it to bollocksy buggery. Still crossing my fingers you won't need the money cushion. I'm so having a year off. I'll just have to hope by the end of that year we aren't having a full-scale recession.

I actually know a Wide Boy Eddie. Wide Boy Eddie Stride, is his name. Or, Eddie the Geez ("awight geez kna wha' I'm sayin', yeah yeah yeah, dere was such fitness dere last night, man, aw, geez, it was well wicked, nah nah, no shit, I ain't shittin' yah, aw, move from me, man!").

Happily picturing you twatting Laurence Llewellyn Bowen over the head with a big slab of MDF...
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )