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"It's *my* fandom, I was here first..."

Good evening Vladivostock!

I am writing to you from my luxuriously appointed cyberbedroom, which has been generously decorated by me with lashings of nerd. In my eyeline I have
what is known in the trade as a fuck-off massive dictionary;
many candles;
some of the fantastic gardeners' handcream from Greenwich market which smells of freesias and is the dog's bollocks;
Keane's "Under the Iron Sea";
DVDs of MASH, XF, Life On Mars, West Wing and David Attenborough communing with the penguins and X-Files. Season II - VI. I do not have S7, 8 and 9. They are minging (relatively speaking) and deserve no roman numerals.

I tell you this just in case I miss the next "What's on my desk" meme. I like to stay ahead of the curve or at least so resolutely behind it that I can pretend I am not even trying.

Where are all the penguin memes, I ask you? Where's the "what are your top five penguins?" poll or "Which fictional penguin are you?" (Frobisher, since yer askin') or maybe a little map where you can colour in the "top five states you've visited where there should be penguins, were it not for the evil forces of Wal-Mart/the climate/Disney/al-Qaida", according to a badly spelled poll.

Penguins Penguins Penguins

:::takes a pill::: Ah, I feel better now.

I still have an unexpected temporary flatmate; luckily she is nice and appreciates the good things in life, which are:

(a) LOTS of football, though not England as watching them makes me nauseous because I remain convinced they are going to lose until the moment when they actually win. They play Portugal on Saturday. I am going to see The Lake House. I'll watch all the other matches because I don't care about them.

I HOPE BRAZIL GET BEATEN. THEY ARE SHITE. There, I said it. Now may the wrath of the Gods fall on me, for I have no samba in my soul and I don't give a toss.

(b) Tea. I recommend Twinings Lady Grey, or failing that, buy one packet of loose leaf Earl Grey and two packets of Assam, chuck them into a container, PUT THE LID ON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, shake, then use as normal tea.

Do not put it in a baggie and sell it to gullible students, who smoke it and say it "has a nice bergamot vibe". Selling tea, oregano and other herbs to poor, witless early twentysomethings is not illegal but karma will get you. You'll end up that weird finger-shredding, vegetable cutting plasticky tool off the telly or getting obsessed by that Victoria Principal "it's this fine £100-quid-a-tub cream that made my face look weirdly immobile, honest" infomercial and buying whatever processed cack it's made of. Soylent green probably.

(c) Corrie. If you don't know what Corrie is, then you have lived a shadow life, scarcely aware of the deep troughs of pain and delerious joy that only Corrie can provide. Best. Soap. Ever.

Only southern poncey wankers call it "the Street". Nota bene, every media pundit that ever lived.

Dr Who: I am not spoiled beyond what was in The Sun and the trailers. Please do not spoil me, should you wish to comment on this giant stream of drivel.

I feel I should get my Doctor Who spec down on pixels before Saturday's doomladen two-parter, since every bugger else has had a pop at it.

Bloody Johnny-come-latelys they are, with their time and chips and their relationship squee and their fancy dan special effects.

I remember when you had to watch Doctor Who through the fingers of both hands because you were afraid the set was going to fall down and crush some poor unsuspecting extra -- who had quite enough to deal with with the whole being painted green and prodded with sticks bit. When you had to take seriously someone being menaced by Bertie fucking Basset. When they redid the whole Arthurian legends and it was *worse than Stargate's attempts to do same*. As if that were not cue enough that the end days are nigh.


That moment of horror deserved its own line.

Doctor/Rose shippers You will not get what you want. Cope.

We old-schoolers have been grumbling and unsatisfied since you were watching Postman Pat and braiding your hair like Baby Spice.

We hid behind the sofa uphill! Both ways! In the snow! It's our fandom! We were here first! Bugger off!

Anyway, I think that Rose will *die* at the end of the first episode, just like last year because if it aint broke etc etc. Only she will not have really died, but rather will be saved by her Bad Wolfness, and left as some kind of guardian of the rift, unable to keep on travelling because she is keeping the worlds apart yadda yadda yadda, but still alive and able to pop in for the odd story should Billie Piper ever decide to revisit former haunts.

I also predict the return of Captain Jack to lead us into Torchwood, a sighting of Mickey and David Tennant screwing up his face and shouting angstily a lot. Preferably in glasses because that's his get-your-kit-off look.

I have actually liked a lot more of this season than most people. I think this is because I am undiscriminating and easily pleased. It seems the most plausible answer. Occam's razor and all that.

For those of you who prefer a more cerebral approach, I direct you to Andrew Rilstone, pointed out to me by pw201, who says most of what I would say were I in the mood to write cogent and witty treatises on Season Two. Except I liked Fear Her. I love the analogy between the new series and the Labour party.

I am not going to talk about music.


In summary, penguins.


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 30th, 2006 01:36 am (UTC)
I have nothing of relevance to say, so I am posting solely for the icon.
Jun. 30th, 2006 01:36 am (UTC)
But wait! I have more!
Jun. 30th, 2006 01:40 am (UTC)
A friend of mine swears that the following is the way to make all the boys think you smell wonderful:

Buy pipe tobacco. Put in a cloth bag. Sprinkle with gin. Leave in your underwear drawer.

Let me know if you try it.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 30th, 2006 02:15 am (UTC)
Mail order. http://www.uptontea.com is your friend; I've bought my tea there for twenty years. They have nine different Earl Greys, including "Blue Flower Earl Grey", which is Lady Grey under a different name. ("Lady Grey" is trademarked.)

Every Upton tea I've ever bought has been fresh and lively. If you aren't willing to cope with bulk teas, you can also mail-order Twinings, Republic of Tea, and Harney & Sons.
Jun. 30th, 2006 02:54 am (UTC)
Odd. I can get Lady Grey in every grocery store in the land. In my land. Which I recognize is different from your land. (It's hillier and smaller, and people have more vowels.)

The thing that irritates the everliving crap out of me is how hard it is to find loose tea. I have to go to the wicked specialty stores, or buy amazingly expensive imported stuff. I mean, I could just take tea bags and cut them open, I guess, but that somehow -- lacks dignity.
Jun. 30th, 2006 04:57 am (UTC)
I get my Ashby's at Devotea.com. They probably have Lady Grey. It's another place to try, anyway.
Jun. 30th, 2006 01:47 am (UTC)
(This is total spec, so no spoilers from me.)

I think you're right with Rose being the guardian of the rift. I also think it's possible she'll choose to stay over in the AU.

Whatever, I don't think she's dead dead. She's not even mostly dead. She's very Buffy-esque dead, where she'll come back, although hopefully without the long hair and nails. Perhaps when she comes back from the dead the mascara will have calmed down?
Jun. 30th, 2006 09:14 am (UTC)
Perhaps when she comes back from the dead the mascara will have calmed down?

Oh, please. That's one of this season's bigger mysteries to me. Billie, when you see her in interviews, doesn't wear that much. Rose didn't wear that much last season. So why must Rose do a daily imitation of a panda now?

Perhaps it's her way of getting into competition with the Doctor's glasses, but I wish she (or makeup) would cut it out.
Jun. 30th, 2006 02:28 am (UTC)
Hey K! Do you at least tape the Engerland games so if you find out that they've won, you can then watch without your hands over your eyes?
Jun. 30th, 2006 02:44 am (UTC)
Thanks for the link, and I have to say it's nice to see, possibly for the first time ever, 'RTD's prejudice against the asexual community' acknowledged as something that actually exists.
Jun. 30th, 2006 05:06 am (UTC)
Alas, I know nothing of Corrie, alas, my shadow of a hollow life!
Jun. 30th, 2006 06:01 am (UTC)
I have come to many of the same conclusions. (:

My bad old Whovian days, like those of most 'murricans of my generation, center vaguely on Tom Baker with his jelly babies, daleks, and monsters made of packing material. Oh, and Sarah Jane, which is why I was so thrilled to have her back this year.

I adore the "romance" between the Doctor and Rose, but I have no wish to see it go any further onscreen than it has. This is what fic is for. I perversely want the show to remain pure, but I also have a big attraction for Teh Doomed, so that may be why I've latched on in the first place.

My first thought: Rose dies. My second thought: Rose ascends like Cordelia/Daniel/insert-annoying-glowy-character-of-your-choice. I dig your keeper of the rift theory, too.
Jun. 30th, 2006 08:47 am (UTC)
Frobisher, since yer askin'

But of course. What other fictional penguin can compare? None of them (so far as I know) have ever been drawn by John Ridgway, for starters.

And why don't I have a Frobisher icon? Must remedy that...

I have actually liked a lot more of this season than most people. I think this is because I am undiscriminating and easily pleased.

Or because you're old school and can remember such gems as "The Horns of Nimon" or "The Twin Dilemma"? Doctor Who has always been intermittently woeful, and the odd bad episode (or season) doesn't necessarily require a lemming-like jump from the cliff. In fact, even the worst episodes tend to have some redeeming features.

I just rewatched "The Gunfighters". I'm fond of its crack-happy approach to historical reenactment of the Old West (and the woefully bad fake American accents), but it does tend to make the current season look like Shakespeare by comparison.
Jun. 30th, 2006 09:18 am (UTC)
Doctor/Rose shippers You will not get what you want. Cope.


I am, as I type, drinking Lady Gray. Yet again, YAMWTSNFOAICM5UKP, or is that IAYWTSNFOAICM5UKP?
Jun. 30th, 2006 11:35 am (UTC)
I am not going to talk about music.

Now *I* feel a deadening sense of whatever. :P

Greenwich market

I was just thinking about this place yesterday! When it was cloudy outside and that little indoor area was full of booths it was like a dark little cave full of wonderful things and I wanted to be there again. I was even wanting jellied eel. I need a vacation that takes me somewhere on a plane. I wish!
Jun. 30th, 2006 12:41 pm (UTC)
I still watch Dr. Who the same way I always did, i.e., intermittently, but this:

We old-schoolers have been grumbling and unsatisfied since you were watching Postman Pat and braiding your hair like Baby Spice.

We hid behind the sofa uphill! Both ways! In the snow! It's our fandom! We were here first! Bugger off!

Is too, too funny. Also the part where I remember actors holding up bits of the flimsy sets.
Jun. 30th, 2006 07:05 pm (UTC)
You are so right about the sad shortage of penguin memes. But you have now given me a very big decision to make - which of my penguin icons to use...
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )

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