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I am very stupid. And it is for this reason in particular today: I have invited six friends around and I am about to cook them dinner.

I am not a cook. I am an opener of packets. A slicer of boxes of delicious stuff from Marks and Spencer which only require me to press microwave buttons. And occasionally I am an eater of cans of tuna over the sink, like a dextrous but dim cat.


Anyway, they are getting kebabs of two kinds. Vegetable and marinated tofu or monkfish and scallops with shiitake mushrooms. Served with vegetable-infested couscous (I think there's probably a better name for it, but whatever.)

The monkfish has marinated in lemon juice, thyme and olive oil, and is in the fridge, like botulism waiting to happen.

Please oh lord do not let me poison this gathering for they are two thirds of all my friends who live in London. If I kill them there'll be no one to go to the pub with, except M or N.

My dad is coming to stay for a few days tomorrow. He owes me two hunded quid and is taking me to see the new Tom Stoppard play and he's ridiculously excited about being in London. All of which is extremely endearing so I am looking forward to it, even though I know I am going to get lectured about all of my failings at great length.

On the other hand he is travelling home at 8am on the morning of the 16th (his birthday) which means I have to get up at 6am to make sure he is at King's Cross in time for the train. The reason? He wants to go see football at home at 3pm. And this is a team that couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo at the moment, much less score a goal.

That bit is less endearing, obviously.

No guests yet. Hmmph.


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 12th, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
I'm sure you'll pull this dinner off with style, panache, and nary a victim of botulism in sight.


Dec. 12th, 2006 10:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks. It worked okay actually. They said they were delicious. Of course, these are my friends and there was wine *g*
Dec. 12th, 2006 07:23 pm (UTC)
In the fridge marinating means the botulism won't happen. You'll be fine.

Sounds yummy. In mere minutes I will be eating a pre-packaged frozen dinner. I am envious.
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:40 am (UTC)
It was actually the dog's.

I have pics for you tomorrow when I have time to get them on the machine. More later
Dec. 12th, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC)
typically, it's just called "vegetable couscous." i mean, the word infested is a good one to use if you haven't quite made enough and want everybody to cut back a little, i suppose...
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:41 am (UTC)
It wasn't just infested, it was overrun. But they ate it, so yay
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:46 am (UTC)
Actually I have seen the last part of the multipart one. I saw Salvage in 2002 at the National and it was a decent way to spend an evening. Though I wasn't particularly transported, the ideas were all interesting.

The one I am going to see is "Rock and Roll", which is his latest. And it has Dominic West in it. Yay. It's all about Czech politics and England and Pink Floyd. I'll let you know how it is
Dec. 12th, 2006 09:56 pm (UTC)
a dextrous but dim cat

*snort* Oh, I missed your posts.

The kebabs sound like they will come out fine; marinating in the fridge is a *good* thing.

Have fun hostessing!
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:47 am (UTC)
They were the business, actually. I might try more cooking soon. Maybe your cooking-fu is catching *g*
Dec. 13th, 2006 01:18 am (UTC)

Your cooking-fu kept me inspired tonight, and so I made a couscous-stuffed leg of lamb (for the first time)! It also was the business; Hubby asked me to make it again. !!
Dec. 12th, 2006 10:07 pm (UTC)
Your kebabs will be just fine. In fact, they sound delicious.

No one is going to die.
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:48 am (UTC)
No one has slipped off this mortal coil yet. Hurrah. They worked pretty well really.
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:27 am (UTC)
Do you still have people to go to the pub with??
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:49 am (UTC)
I do. Huzzah etc. Of course I am not drinking at the mo' but still, I have not killed my friends. Go me!
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:41 am (UTC)
The kabobs are probably just fine. On the other hand, if they actually contained botulism, you could perhaps make your own Botox and have beautifully expressionless faces.
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:52 am (UTC)
That would be handy in time for Christmas.

"Oh thank you Aunty Eileen for this beautiful gift of knitted knickerbockers in puce-coloured wool. Oh no, no, I love the gift, it's just that the botox is keeping my face still. I'm smiling on the inside"
Dec. 13th, 2006 01:40 am (UTC)
In some ways, this would have been the best possible scenario. Well, except for the potential death of your friends. Still, I'm sure that dinner was delightful.

Also? Bwahahahahahahaha!

Thank you!
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )