K. (infinitemonkeys) wrote,
K.
infinitemonkeys

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parenthesis abuse

Lots of things have happened this week.
- I remortgaged my house and will be temporarily and imaginarily rich rich rich for a few months.
- I instructed an architect while sending off a cheque and may I note that the bastard had better ring me on Monday or else.
- Work switched computer systems, with hilarity ensuing (only not so much).
- Crowded House, who may be my favourite band in all the world, are to play again.
- I saw The Last King of Scotland and Babel at the cinema (Verdicts Good but suffers usual problem of US/UK films about Africa, i.e. not really about Africans / Not half as clever as it thinks it is and will try your patience only to later smack you about the head with its power despite yourself)
- It snowed and everything looked pretty for ooooo, half an hour.
- I switched to OS X.4, just in time for OS X.5 to be released, but I love the widgets anyway.
- I was lured to the dark side by Scrivener on the rec of tabula_x_rasa

Surely that's enough stuff for any week.

Tonight after work (we finish early on a Friday, early being 7pm) I went out to meet a couple of friends to go see a comedy gig at the Soho theatre. I was on the bus on Holborn when I noticed we had been standing in traffic for a while and all I could hear was the thump-thump-thump of bass. Reflected in the window of the building opposite were lights from a police van, so I got off the bus and walked. About 30 metres ahead were more than a hundred cyclists and about 20 bored police officers with mountain bikes, blocking up the road. Four of them had these huge three-metre-long pipes on trailers at the back, which on closer inspection proved to be something called Bose Acoustic Wave Cannons

All I know is that they were very loud and played a lot of dance music, including One Step Beyond, which increases in fabulousness exponentially the louder you play it. The cyclists stopped for a bit of saddle dancing -- presumably to regroup and piss off the large amount of traffic they were causing to be jammed -- then meandered off again down Oxford Street. A fair few had tied flags to their bikes . The theme seemed to be more "peace and love" than "reclaim the streets". One had a hunting horn on his recumbent bicycle. All along the pavement there were people with cameras or camera phones, all smiling. One bloke started bouncing up and down on his toes to the music, muttering "wicked, this is wicked".

I have never wished more that I had a camera with me.

I am only guessing from spelunking on the internet but I think this might have been part of the monthly Critical Mass ride. I've seen them once or twice on my way home from work and I think it's wonderful, especially as it pisses off the cabbies and white van men something chronic.

After that, I hiked down to PIccadilly via Oxford Street and Carnaby Street, stopping at Wasabi for a couple of avocado and roasted pepper nigiri (which I recommend, though their rice is a bit suspect) and met a couple of friends by Eros. We had perfectly decent and astonishingly cheap noodles at a place in Soho then went to see a comedian (Jason Byrne, who has the most wonderfully filthy mouth, God love him). I haven't laughed so much in ages.

I like this week. We should do this week again some time.

* * *

Some links I have known and loved

Via Londonist, a Life On Mars trailer done in the style of Camberwick Green "Oh dear, is it Gene Hunt? Is he kicking in a nonce?"



Incidentally, it is too funny that there was a rap group called "The Nonce". Shared languages, eh? There's a shop on the A12, somewhere around Gants Hill called Fags and Mags. That wouldn't really translate well either

In other news, this is the funniest thing I have seen in ages -- a bunch of people on Amazon.co.uk review the stomach-churningly awful album of hackneyed duets "A Whole New World" by Peter Andre and Katie Price and give it five stars.



Background note #1 for those of you unfamiliar with Peter Andre and Katie Price. Katie Price is the enormo-chested glamour model also known as Jordan. She had a huge list of semi-famous sexual conquests she has bragged about until a couple of years ago she met Australian smoothie has-been Peter Andre, who, had about three very big hits in the early 90s, and as a singer, was more famous for having a washboard stomach and a very very silly haircut. Love was then blared out from every tabloid and celeb magazine in Britain and they made lots and lots of money by going to the opening of an envelope if there was the possibility they would be papped and selling their every eructation to Hello! magazine. "Ubiquitous" is too small a word for it. As is "annoying".

Background note #2: "Gary action" is rhyming slang, deriving from Gary Glitter, the infamous ex-rock star and vile nonce. Through permutations of rhyme too disgusting to go into on this LJ, "Gary action" means anal sex, I believe. How you ever lived without this knowledge I do not know.


The first review goes like this: "I feel that we are truly blessed to exist on the same planet as two obviously extremely talented individuals. I almost gave up on the music industry untill this couple came along. My cat was dead and now it is alive."

The ones that follow are even funnier. I love the one about the wife in a coma, and the one where he uses the CD to defeat the Nazgul. I laughed extremely hard at the one with the Ya Lo Tengo suggestions and the one from the blind man who was able to see again through the power of the CD. And the track-by-track review from Oogly Shabubu made me laugh until I cried:

8. I Come Down - When Pete first got diagnosed with this unusual complaint he was devastated, props to him for going public with it, I say. Apparently when Katie allows him into her compound for fertilisation purposes it's like a pillow fight in a henhouse.

9. Don't Go Breaking My Heart - This is a brand new number written by Katie. She wrote it herself. On the fridge. With magnetic letters. The original fridge is now in the British Museum. It's a national treasure.


GENIUS. I think I love it more than might be right or proper.
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