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Bring me the head of ...

I love John Ashcroft. Really I do. He is a work of art.

Usually I don't have a lot of time for people who are on the fundamentalist whirly-eyed far-right of the political spectrum. But Ashcroft is wonderful because you couldn't make him up if you tried

The Grauniad is reporting this:

Ashcroft is asking his staff to sing patriotic songs he wrote himself, described as "Let the Eagle Soar, a tribute to America's virtues, which continues: "Like she's never soared before, from rocky coast to golden shore, let the mighty eagle soar," and so on for four minutes" at staff meetings.

"When asked why she opposed the workplace singalong, one of the department's lawyers said: "Have you heard the song? It really sucks." "

The BBC just broadcast the most delightfully sarcastic report on it. Beautiful. First the covering up of the statues and now this. What a puritan.

I wish he could be deflowered and have his head messed with by large-breasted, louche, smart women … la Sirens (or possibly young men with buttocks like two peaches in a silk stocking. I'm not particular) and afterwards he could emerge a wide-eyed hippie and run off to a Himalayan ashram with Anita Roddick or similar.

In other news, I cannot believe that Stephen Byers survived last week, given how defensively sleazy he appeared and how it's impossible to get a damned train that runs on time. I do wish that the man responsible for transport would take responsibility for transport.

(Stephen Byers is the transport secretary. It was his assistant, Jo Moore, who suggested that 9/11 was "a good day to bury bad news". He didn't sack her. He should have. )

This government is now almost as shamelessly appalling as the Tories were. The sorry thing is that I'll probably vote for them again because I'd rather put my toes in the wood chipper than vote Tory and the local MP is all right. It's a shame that the wheels are coming off the country.

Did more renovation work today. The fumes are making me feel very sick indeed.

* * *


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 4th, 2002 03:15 pm (UTC)
Your leaders may be venal, but at least they're not morons to boot.

I'm less concerned by the singalongs (which are humiliating and stupid) than by the *prayer meetings in his office*, which sound downright unconstitutional.
Mar. 4th, 2002 04:16 pm (UTC)
I don't know, Mely *sigh*. I don't know. Ours apparently think they can let their cabinet ministers admit to lying through theit teeth on national radio and then say it's still okay for them to hold cabinet posts. Ours apparently think they can run on a platform which partly rests on attacking the corruption of the Tory party and then try to maintain their whiter-than-white, holier-than-thou image when they're caught being less-than-pure (Bernie Ecclestone and Formula I tobacco sponsorship, anyone? Never mind the Mittal scandal). Ours apparently think the public will forget their 'Things Can Only Get Better' slogan and forgive them for the fact that things have not got better, they've got worse. Ours apparently think that maintaining Saint Tone's image as the prime mover in the Flying World Peace Solutions Squad outweighs paying any real, concrete attention to the problems that persist here with the NHS, the education system, the creeping attempts to infringe upon our civil liberties and so on and so forth. Essentially, this government is stupid enough to think that we won't notice the things falling apart on our doorsteps if they blind us with enough pictures of Tony shaking hands with Hamid Karzai and Gen. Pervez Musharraf.

I don't think Tony Blair is entirely stupid, but I think his government as a whole is pretty damn dumb. I don't know who the hell I can feel comfortable giving my vote to anymore and that makes me sad, because I know I'm lucky to live in a democracy and I'm lucky that there was once a suffragette movement that secured the vote for me, and I don't intend to waste my vote, but really, they're all as fucking stupid as each other here right now and since I currently vote in a Labour safe seat, my vote didn't make a damn bit of difference in the last election anyway.

Tony Blair is not my Prime Minister. And despite what he thinks, he ain't my President, either. The temptation to spoil my ballot paper or vote for the Natural Law party at the next General Election grows ever stronger...
Mar. 4th, 2002 05:11 pm (UTC)
Actually, what got to me more than the prayer meetings (which would be unconstitutional if they were any kind of requirement, literal or implied) was the anointing with oil</b>. Like King David, he says.

Who exactly does this guy think he is??
Mar. 4th, 2002 05:21 pm (UTC)
Cooking oil, it said. He's got Wessonality. *eg*
Mar. 4th, 2002 04:02 pm (UTC)
If I wasn't close-enough-to-broke just now, I would've bought and sent the postcard I saw in the Oxfam Bookshop the other day to you.

"New Labour - I Can't Believe It's Not Better!"

You know, oh, you know, which ad it was ripping off.
Mar. 4th, 2002 05:26 pm (UTC)
Did you download the clip of him singing? I did. Good god, that man is psycho! It would be hilarious if not for the fact that he has a terrifying amount of power and influence. He reminds me of the nutcases I used to know in my weird childhood cult/church.

-M., who now has "Let the Eagles Sooooooar" stuck in her head
Mar. 4th, 2002 05:28 pm (UTC)
Have you seen the actual VIDEO of him singing??


Not only is it outright propaganda, it is the most idiotic, cheesy-ass thing I have ever seen. It's worse than seeing drunk people sing bad karaoke at Dimples on Thursday nights.

I think Ashcroft has a future at Acapulco's in Burbank after him and his whole fucking cabal get their asses booted out of office. That is, if he isn't being ass-raped by crackheads in a dark alley. (mwahahahaha)
Mar. 4th, 2002 08:53 pm (UTC)
After watching that video and reading that story, Canada is looking better and better.

Sweet merciful Jebus slug.
Mar. 5th, 2002 07:13 am (UTC)
Why, oh why do I still live here?

Oh, right. Because I swore I was going to help drum those fuckers out of office. Hrm. I must start that. I am feeling antsy and CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE that our so-called Republican leadership is calling any dissent "treason".

Furious at the moment. Arrrgh. I am full of rage these days.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )