K. (infinitemonkeys) wrote,

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Looks like the northward view of a southbound duck

The spiders and I have reached a non-aggression pact. I will not smack the crap out of them with a copy of House Beautiful if they stay on the ceiling looking decorative. If they decide that a bit of abseiling is in order, I can't be responsible for my actions, though I will try to catch them and chuck them out of the window before I resort to squishing them with magazines about painting your bathroom strange variations on duckegg blue and stencilling shit roses all over your walls.

I did not manage to get a ticket for Hamlet, owing to having to bloody work while at work, but I find I'm not that arsed.

My beloved friend M was heading to Paris for a week's holiday with his boyfriend on the Eurostar until it went foom! yesterday afternoon and caused £200m of damage to the tunnel. He has a carte blanche pass -- it's the equivalent of the entry card for the posho lounge at the airport -- and has always been very sniffy about the idea of the ferry. He ended up having to get up at Oh My GOD this morning and catch the train to Dover, the ferry to Calais and last time we texted -- this was 5pm -- he had just missed his train from Calais to Paris. So at least I am luckier than him. Though as I am working on Sunday, maybe not *that* bloody lucky.

After last night's intemperate, miserable 4am ramblings, I thought it might be nice if I showed you some of my happy places. Oh *not like that*. Your mind is heading for the gutter, isn't it? If it is, you'd better stay on my reading list. That's all I'm saying.

Happy place #1: Lost In Austen
I only just got around to watching the second episode of this, and it just gets funnier and cleverer. It is sly, cracky fluff. Or possibly fluffy crack. (Oh, you've gone to the guttery place again, haven't you? I like you. )

I was almost put of by the Life On Mars meets Pride and Prejudice spiel that the newspaper previews put out but this story of a Hammersmith twentysomething swapping places with Elizabeth Bennet and trying to make sure that the storyline stays on course is much smarter than that. It is fanfic not just for Austen but also for the 1995 (:::: suddenly feels very old::::) adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, with its Darcy inna pond moment and all those bosoms like balconies. The first episode was merely funny and pleasing but the second, with Amanda telling Bingley she couldn't be engaged to him because she "steered the punt from the Cambridge end", only to get engaged to the truly repellent Mr Collins, really pulled the storyline of Pride and Prejudice off course. The crux of the series is the clash between modern dialogue and Austen's, and the way they cross-pollinate. It is joy.

Happy Place #2: The Large Hadron Collider
It's just *cool*, all right? I don't care that it cost billions for something that's abstruse to 95% of the population -- we need more of that sort of thing. Smashing stuff into other stuff just to find out what happens is marvellous. I love Professor Brian Cox, the Cillian Murphy of the scientific community, former keyboard player for the band D:Ream, who was quoted as saying "Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a twat. Yes. That's the kind of robust scientific language we need.
[See also: creationism.
Sometimes, don't you just long to jump into the trenches with Richard Dawkins and be *exactly* as rude as he is? I do. Yes, sometimes I think he's not helping the cause, but sometimes, oh sometimes... I was watching his programme about creationism and evolution the other week where he was reading out badly worded hate emails from correspondents and the way in which he read out one of them and then said, gleefully, "no punctuation at all there" made me want to hug him in pro-intellectual joy]

I know 90% of you have probably seen this already but just in case you haven't the CERN rap. This is wondrous. It should be compulsory viewing for children.

Happy Place #3 A (mostly) non-poisonous anon meme
I have never liked anon memes much but this one, who_anon -- as long as you stay away from any thread in which any LJ user name appears in the text of a comment, because I don't want to see that cobblers -- may be one of the funniest things I have ever read. Even the serious discussions of problematic areas of the text are better than in non-anonymeme areas because it's no-holds barred but you get called on OTT rudeness. Well, in bits it is. I sometimes worry that if ever I am hauled in to explain my internet usage, I'm going to have a hard time explaining that one away. [edited to say: I should say that I am very late to this particular party]

Happy Place #4: My personal theme tune: Pissing In The Wind, by Badly Drawn Boy
In the wake of Elbow winning the Mercury, I thought I would go back and listen to previous winners, starting with the gorgeous Hour of The Bewilderbeast, which won in 2000. This is the video, where they change "pissing" to "spitting", which works but loses the proper force of the phrase. It also has Joan Collins in it. How good is that?

Happy Place #5: Filth! Lairiness! Innuendo! Bad jokes! Snark! Mrs Trellis! Mornington Crescent!
These are hysterically funny. I *love* I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. It is the filthiest thing I've ever heard and I mourn Humph anew after watching the programme on his life on BBC4 tonight.

Happy Place #6: Yes. I know. I don't care. I think you're all WRONG. Actually, I don't think you're wrong. I know you're wrong.
[see also creationism]

PSA: Feel at liberty to defriend at any time if this is getting on your nerves, because I'm only going to get worse. Go ahead. Off you pop. Byeeee!

It is entirely possible that I need some sleep.
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