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It's a second-hand name, so if you're here looking for a previous infinitemonkeys, who was maybe a serial killer or similar, well, that's not me. All the names I wanted were owned by someone who hasn't written a dicky bird for five years. Selfish name-squatting buggers. Anyway, this one is a sea area, like my other LJ name. HO, I SEE WOT I DID THAR.

Anyway, hello. Unfriending amnesty is still on btw. Feel at liberty to say byeee.

* * *
Oh, DVD player, DVD player, you're about one bloody step from me running over you in my car. Over and over again while laughing maniacally, in the pouring rain. Possibly with some blood-curdling music, like The Omen crossed with EastEnders.

I ask you to record *one* thing all week (well, all right , three things this week, but I've been very undemanding all summer) and you can't even bloody crank into action to record The Waters of Mars while I am sweating, swearing and cussing at work until 9pm. Useless godforsaken three hundred bloody quid pile of junk, you are a sack of shite, and I shall never darken John Lewis's towels again. FFS.

So, instead of getting home and watching The Waters of Mars, I am watching I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here and heckling the television like a saddo.

However, I have discovered a very wonderful thing, albeit about forty years after everyone else -- Twitter [@93562710 since you didn't ask]. I don't particularly want it to become a major means of non communication, I just want to read the heckling. I've followed a bunch of well-known comedians who I previously imagined would spend their Saturdays quaffing expensive wine and spouting witticisms at each other like some kind of Stoke Newington Algonquin round table. But NO! I am happy to note that every sadarse loser man-jack of them also spent his/her Saturday evening watching The X-Factor and heckling electronically. :::hearts:::

Speaking of The X-Factor -- much as I love American Idol, and I do, particularly the funny face SCowl pulls when he's trying to suppress the kind of sarcasm that would get him run out of the country (sort of as though someone put the froth on his coffee by snottering into it but he knows he has to drink it. Well, that or wind) The X-Factor is, without doubt, superior.

See, now I *love* American Idol and the singing is probably better -- but did it have a No 1 recording artist running onstage when, say, Sanjaya was singing, with a pineapple on his head? Did it? No! It fucking did not! Total lack of pineapples.

So, you see, if you lot across the Atlantic hadn't had that stropfit in 1776, you too could have Calvin Harris invading the stage with a pineapple on his head while Jedward were "singing". I see that Jedward got through tonight as well, despite having an amount of talent that could only be measured by a mass spectrometer. The irritating little feckers.

* * *
So now I can't check LJ, or go back to Twitter because I am avoiding Doctor Who spoilers. Fortunately, the gorgeous Elbow are on the South Bank Show for a proper highbrow profile thingie. ::::Guy, I luff you, call me:::: (let's see whether the universe is bending to my psychic orders)

* * *
Speaking of spoilers, DO NOT spoil yourself for next Wednesday's Spooks. The episode itself is a bit of a retread of earlier, better stories, with about 40 minutes of low-level tedium with insufficient action from the regulars. But then there's ten minutes of exciting action and ten solid minutes of HOLY SHIT YOU DID NOT DO THAT. In a good way.

I have this theory, based on nothing more than slight spoilers and the fact that it got flap all publicity before it started, that this is the last series of Spooks. I think that maybe Harry and Ruth are going to get a happy ending. But really, who knows -- they could just as easily turn it into Blake's Seven

* * *
My *ahem* has five hours to go. Still I hate my DVD recorder very much.

* * *
But not as much as I hate work at the moment. Let us not speak of it.

* * *
I have not had the greatest of months. Of all the causes of suck -- and lo, they were many -- this was the worst.

My parents are odd sorts and they haven't been on holiday together for, perhaps, thirty years. My dad has, as he often tells me, been everywhere and seen everything (he was a sailor) and now has no desire to go anywhere. I take my mum on holiday once a year because he won't go. However, this autumn my dad decided he wanted to go home for a week and stay his cousin, so he and my mum decided to go together. He books flights and so on, only for the dog to fall ill. I had offered to take Rob for them, to drive up and bring him back to live with me for a week. I am at work for rather a long time but I could have taken him for long walks on the heath near my house and it would have been lovely. But no. My dad didn't want him to be stressed by being on the train so they put him in kennels.

My dad adored Rob, so he cancelled the holiday, only for Rob to get better. So he rebooked a week or so later, but he wouldn't let me come up and take Rob to live with me for the week. You see where this is going, don't you. The lovely Rob passed away on a Sunday morning and I had to try to work out whether to call them or not. I ended up ringing abroad. When they got back my dad said: "You shouldn't have told me, it ruined my holiday" and my mum said: "I'm glad you told me, I couldn't have borne finding out at the station on the way home."

Which is particularly typical of them, but never mind.

I thought they should wait before they got a new dog, because Rob was such a gorgeous old gentleman, but they couldn't bear not having one around. I think they need someone or something around in order that they don't kill each other. It used to be me, which could be why I now live 350 miles away. Accordingly, after further DRAH-MAH which we need not go into here, they got another dog. I give you so much concentrated cuteness that your computer may explode:


This tiny boy is nicknamed Basker, because my dad thinks it very funny to call a very small collie "Hound of the Baskervilles"

* * *
Happy birthday to sharinlilbit

* * *
And now I am off work for a week \0/ x million.


( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
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Nov. 16th, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)

Glad to see you!
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:10 pm (UTC)
Hello you with the appropriate icon
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:29 am (UTC)
Good luck with the *ahem*. I had a VCR that used to do that. I'd set it, go away for a week, and invariably find the only thing it'd bothered to record was the programme I was least bothered about. It was very picky, and it had different tastes from me, so we had to part company.

I missed the BBC3 advance viewing of Spooks due to distraction by parental units, but you've got me all curious now. I'm pretty sure from the previews that I have seen that recycled plot though.

The computer didn't explode with the cuteness, but it was a close thing. That dog is adorable.
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:13 pm (UTC)
You have seen the recycled plot, I guarantee it. It's not done with any particular panache either. But the end is totally worth your time -- particularly for one little character moment. You'll know when you see it.

::is gnomic, but good about spoilers::
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC)
But then there's ten minutes of exciting action and ten solid minutes of HOLY SHIT YOU DID NOT DO THAT.
Man, I really want to get around to watching Spooks because it seems like it does this sort of thing A LOT.
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:15 pm (UTC)
You should. You really should. Apart from all the joy that is making fun of the Worst Spy In The World, and the snarky dialogue, about every seven episodes or so, there's something that makes you sit back and do the HOLY SHIT YOU DID NOT DO THAT face. The end of season three is a brilliant example of that, and the start of season five was the absolute best one, even though it crushed my soul in the good way.

Sometimes it's utter cack (most of season six) but when it's good, it's excellent.
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:43 am (UTC)
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:16 pm (UTC)
I KNOW!!! I wish he were mine.
Nov. 16th, 2009 01:12 am (UTC)
that is indeed a puppy of awesomeness!

I'm glad you've got a week off work - may you enjoy every single moment of that bliss to the fullest
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I like your socks.
Nov. 16th, 2009 01:22 am (UTC)
Hello new name and cute puppy!

Did you friend me on Twitter? I was not sure if it was you.
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:17 pm (UTC)
I did. It is a long string of numbers. I am mostly reading it for the jokes though
Nov. 16th, 2009 02:06 am (UTC)
omg so CUTE.

Also, HALLO CROMARTY. You seem to have taken to this new identity with quite a splash. I approve.

Can I still be your minion?

Nov. 16th, 2009 02:34 am (UTC)
I have already updated my interests list accordingly. *g*
(no subject) - infinitemonkeys - Nov. 16th, 2009 12:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
Nov. 16th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
I love your continued great expressions of luff for Guy. However, I must warn you that as soon as I'm able to see the band in person, he will obviously be all mine. ;-)

Very sorry about your parents' dog and general parents stress, but that new dog is adorable!
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:23 pm (UTC)
Then I shall have to fight you. It's sad but it must be done. Though I'd settle for Bass Player Pete at a pinch. He's lovely.
(no subject) - lilydale - Nov. 16th, 2009 10:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
Nov. 16th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
That is indeed a bundle of concentrated cuteness. (But I am sorry to hear about Rob.)
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:24 pm (UTC)
Thanks. He was a glorious dog: kind, gentle and a little bit odd. This new puppy is still growing into his personality, but he's definitely inquisitive and clever.
Nov. 16th, 2009 03:05 am (UTC)
Oh, I am so sorry about Rob.

Basker is so adorable I may need to weep.

And hello there. I'm glad to see you, no matter what nom de plume you choose.
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:31 pm (UTC)
Hello there, and thanks.

The new puppy is indeed an adorable boy. He's at the stage where if you've run around with him for a bit and then pick him up he just flakes out and goes to sleep for 20 minutes in your arms. It's disgustingly adorable.
Nov. 16th, 2009 03:23 am (UTC)
PUPPY!!! Wee, cute puppy!!!! Post more pictures of wee Basker anytime.
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:32 pm (UTC)
I wish he were mine. By the time I see him next he'll be much less wee, I suspect.
Nov. 16th, 2009 03:44 am (UTC)
I missed you!
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:42 pm (UTC)
Hello! I don't know why I stayed away so long when I have so many pointless opinions about everything. *g*
Nov. 16th, 2009 04:46 am (UTC)
I think they need someone or something around in order that they don't kill each other. It used to be me, which could be why I now live 350 miles away.

Ah, moving away so as not to be part of your parents' psychodramas anymore. I only have that problem with my mother, but she's quite enough.
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:43 pm (UTC)
Well, I still get to take part on the phone, so that's something. *g*
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:45 pm (UTC)
That's some very special video mojo your mum had there. That's an incredibly diverse range of things which are not The X-Files and not even on at the same time.

My mum won't touch the video/DVD player/computer "because if it breaks your father will only blame me". Probably true.
Nov. 16th, 2009 10:09 am (UTC)
Ah, Twitter. Welcome to the dark side. Well, it's more the light side really.
Nov. 16th, 2009 12:55 pm (UTC)
It was the X-Factor wot done it. Someone told me that watching X-Factor while reading Twitter was the best thing since sliced bread and so it proved.

So sad that this was the highlight of my weekend.
(no subject) - parthenia14 - Nov. 16th, 2009 01:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
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