K. (infinitemonkeys) wrote,
K.
infinitemonkeys

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Possibly my favourite news story. Well, for a while anyway

with apologies, if you find this offensive. I probably have a sick mind

"I was slowing down but Georgann wouldn't wait until I stopped," Everett Williams told police after the death of his wife in a freak motoring accident in Arkansas City.

"We both saw Jesus at the side of the road, with what looked like 12 people floating into the air. She started screaming 'He's back! Jesus is back!' and we both thought the rapture was happening.

"I tried to pull over but she wouldn't wait because she was convinced Jesus was going to lift her up to the sky, there and then.

"Before I could stop she climbed right out of the sunroof crying 'Take me Lord!', jumped off the car and was run over by the car behind."

Officer Paul Madison later explained precisely how the accident had happened.

"What we have here is a case of mistaken rapture. It seems that a motorist, Ernie Jenkins, was on his way to a costume party dressed as Jesus, which 12 blow-up sex dolls filled with helium in his truck.

"The tarp covering the dolls came loose and they started floating into the air, so he got out and tried to catch them.

"The Williams were driving past, saw Mr Jenkins with his arms raised high, assumed it was the Second Coming and Mrs Williams jumped to the wrong conclusion. And her death.

"I tell you this is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force."

Asked to comment, Jenkins said: "This is all too weird for me. People have often told me that I look like Jesus, that's why I thought I'd go to the party as Christ with his 12 disciples. I never expected anything like this to happen. I wish I had gone as Nero instead."

[EAP, 23/08/01]

*cough*DarwinAwards*cough*

"
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