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the 6.30am update

It's been so long that I'd almost forgotten how to do this.

I just felt that I had nothing to say, and while having sod all to say doesn't bother me as a rule, periodically I look at everything I write and mutter 'For heaven's sake would you just *shut up* already, you know nothing and no one cares what you think'. I don't mean that self-deprecatingly at all.

I had a dose of sloth, sloth in the true sense, as defined by truepenny *g*

What is the LJ for? I mean, if you don't want to write what you're thinking because you know it might upset the people reading it -- and you don't want to do that -- then it isn't a journal really, is it? It's certainly not a forum for the free expression of one's ideas.

It's more like one of those circular letters you get at Christmas in which people tell you what they're up to. Only it's better because you get one more often and you don't have to hear the ins and outs of Auntie Susan's haemorrhoidectomy.

I went cold turkey on LJ for a while. Just to see if I could.

I could. I just don't want to. I like reading about lives.

* * *

Work is insane; not sure if I've been busier. I'm finding it really fulfilling even if it's hardly rocket science and even if it keeps me from checking LJ and my email.

We reorganised recently at The Swamp of Fear And Loathing, which means that some of us are working way harder than we used to, and the rest have been sort of pooled into one large discontented mass. I'm in the unpooled group so I'm relatively happy for now. I hate the divisions though. It was really unpleasant for a fortnight or so.

Backstabbing remains a competitive and spectator sport. However, I am pond scum. I lie in the mud and watch the big fishes above biting chunks out of each other's arses. aaaoooouuum, aaooouuum. Zennnnn... zennnn...

* * *

The Friday Five, *really* late.

1. What is your favorite type of literature to read (magazine, newspaper, novels, nonfiction, poetry, etc.)?

It used to be getting lost in a novel. Lately it's historical non-fiction but I waver between the two.

2. What is your favorite novel?

Hard to say. It changes.

I think I've read "Pride and Prejudice" most often, but for sheer comfort and adoration and humour and feeling safe and happy while reading? Either "Small Gods" or "Wyrd Sisters" by Terry Pratchett.

3. Do you have a favorite poem? (Share it!)

Don't think I have a favourite, though "Dover Beach" by Thomas Arnold comes close. I like that gloomy, mordant old bugger Philip Larkin, particularly "An Arundel Tomb"

Time has transfigured them into
Untruth. The stone fidelity
They hardly meant has come to be
Their final blazon, and to prove
Our almost-instinct almost true:
What will survive of us is love

Some short poems I like:

The Ideal, James Fenton

This is where I came from,
I passed this way.
This should not be shameful
Or hard to say.

A self is a self.
It is not a screen.
A person should respect
What he has been.

This is my past
Which I shall not discard.
This is the ideal.
This is hard.

See, that's almost doggerel but I like it because it's hard and plain and true, the spirit of the poem working with the language. And it's something I should live up to more often.

And of course:

The Rescue, Seamus Heaney

In drifts of sleep I came upon you
Buried to your waist in snow
You reached out: I came to
Like water in a dream of thaw

Well, that answer was too bloody long.

4. What is one thing you've always wanted to read, or wish you had more time to read?

I wish I had a much better knowledge of sacred texts of world religions in general and the Old Testament. I went to a C of E school, so I'm all right on the New Testament, but I always got the impression that the happy clappys who ran our parish found all that fire and brimstone embarrassing and frightfully infra dig.

Generally I think I should aspire to higher level of spiritual and theological awareness. Knowing all the lyrics to Spirit In The Sky does not make me a well-rounded person.

5. What are you currently reading?

COMMUTE READING: "The Rape of Nanking" by Iris Chang, which is well-written but horrifying

IN THE BATH READING: "Maskerade", Terry Pratchett.

Because you don't want to be upset in the bath. That would be antithetical to the spirit of baths.



( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 2nd, 2003 04:15 am (UTC)
mmm. lj cold turkey. i periodically do this. and yeah. i agree.

Mar. 2nd, 2003 06:31 am (UTC)
Thanks for posting the link to "An Arundel Tomb." I'd never read it before and now I want to marry it.
Mar. 2nd, 2003 06:36 pm (UTC)
Glad you like it. He's an infuriating old bugger but sometimes he gets it so very right.
Mar. 2nd, 2003 08:11 am (UTC)
LJ! What is it good for?
Since I am completely HTML-impaired, I can't snip your post and quote it here, but the section I'm referring to is your musing on what one can/should do with an LJ. Odd that - I've been thinking about that a great deal lately. Severe constraints on my time anymore makes it impractical to do a real daily running commentary, and when I do find time to update, I either find myself running on far too long, or staring in frustration at the blank message box and wondering what on earth to say.

So, no real answers here, but a great deal of empathy, and just wanted to add that I do always love your entries. It is a way of keeping in touch, as you note, and there is a certain Zen-like thing of being able to read people's entries as well as what they aren't putting in the journal.

Hope all is well.

Mar. 2nd, 2003 11:37 am (UTC)
Welcome back. You were missed.
Mar. 3rd, 2003 08:02 am (UTC)
So good to hear from you again!

Which reminds me. Heh. I'm going to be in London from Thursday morning to Monday night. If you'd like to meet up somewhere for a meal or something, email me?
Mar. 4th, 2003 02:51 am (UTC)
Mar. 5th, 2003 02:21 pm (UTC)
Mar. 9th, 2003 05:56 pm (UTC)
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )