I have an unexpected and unwelcome window. And lots and lots and lots of dust.
Let this be a lesson to you, my friends. Do not buy houses which are over 100 years old, and do not, under any circumstances, think that it would be a good idea to see what is under the wallpaper, because it sodding well isn't.
I think I broke my toe from kicking the wheelie bin.
Lesson #2: No matter how angry you are, kicking the wheelie bin in soft-topped trainers is not a good idea.
I am going away now, to sit in dumbfounded silence and ponder how a 200-pound decorating job is now about to cost me a thousand quid. Which I don't really have.