Am coming up to one of those landmark birthdays by which time one is meant to have settled down and achieved stuff
Now I'll never be a child prodigy, goddamnit! *g*
Also I am so tired of London at the moment. I know it will pass and I will love it again but for now I want to go home. Not to my parents' place (eeee, God, no) just back up north. Home.
I've been at work for a run of eight days now. Please let Tuesday come soon. For now, I'm on the new shift that finishes at 3.30am, which means wall-to-wall news.
I used to be very keen on staying informed, but over the past few days I'm getting to the point where I don't want to hear any more. Having trouble sleeping. Having bad dreams. (More than one colleague has admitted the same thing and the black jokes about anthrax hitting here that were going around on Friday are not funny today. This isn't like us.)
Yesterday I dragged all the bedding downstairs so DS9 could lull me to sleep.
Ah, I'll be fine again tomorrow, back to reading The Economist voraciously so that I can heckle the capitalist bastards.
Of course, it's my own fault. Don't have to work Saturday, or the double shifts on Tuesday and Wednesday but there's plumbing and rewiring and a kitchen which actually has cupboards and a working washing machine to be paid for and I'm trying to lay in three months mortgage money in savings, just in case. Just in case.
Circulation is way up, but advertising revenue is way down and all told, this is a really, really stupid time to be changing jobs.
Guess who's doing it. *g*
Had a superb Saturday afternoon: my closest friend from school and her partner came to London.
I didn't realise it until Friday but it's more than a year since I last saw her. Nor do I phone her very often. Must do something about that. (No longer even have phone no. of closest friend from university because we both moved house within a week of each other. Gah. This cannot go on)
I took S and J out to this horrible dive that does the most amazing Chinese food for eff-all money. All hail Fatman's Kitchen, for we love thee moooochly. *g*
We spoke about the war. They're both typical of your smart urban professionals -- she's a tax accountant working on strategic planning, he's a chartered engineer -- and they both want the bombing to stop now and pray it doesn't spread to Iraq. If it spreads, they're both afraid of the consequences. These are exactly the people whom Blair's strategy might be supposed to be attracting.
All the opinion polls state that the vast majority of Britons are in favour of the war but from talking to S. I cannot believe it's that simple. I think it's just that we were all so horrified that we think something must be done, something must happen, but none of us are sure that it's this something.
To quote a Mirror editorial last week:
"we were promised a new kind of war
but this is looking more like the old kind.
A knee-jerk aerial blitz on a bunch of
poorly-armed guerrillas ... if we are
going to beat Bin Laden, we need to
be cleverer than this."
We're losing the propaganda war here. I'm not sure that the real war is even half as important.
If this goes wrong, the domestic consequences could be horrific, let alone the international ones. S said that almost all of the Muslim leaders in Birmingham have fiercely condemned the attacks and mutedly condemned the bombing -- but that there's a loud, scary minority out there who are very angry.
It was very odd to find myself agreeing with S, with whom I regularly engaged in vast political disputes when we were growing up, since she was a running dog of capitalism etc etc and I was all nationalise-it-all, ban the bomb leftyism. Have, in the past, tended to think of agreeing with S. on political things as one of the signs of the apocalypse, along with the Tory party deciding that Margaret Thatcher was a mad old witch and Paul Daniels's career being revived.
One of the problems we face is Pakistan. Can't remember who remarked about Pakistan "flaking out" on America. Hmmm. Have to say that my sympathies are with the Pakistanis. They have recognised the Taliban but this could be because the Northern Alliance is backed by India, and their leaders face immense pressure to either stop the US or else reap a huge dividend for their support. Neither option is really practical. Pakistan expected to reap the dividends of aiding the US when it allowed US-backed operatives onto its territory to train the Mujaheddin against the Soviets in the 80s. We know how that story turned out.
I hate this. Hate what's happened, what's going on now, and if I'm honest, I rather resent Osama bin bloody Laden for taking my mind off grouting and lovely, trivial things like that.
By the way, Ropo, there's an interview with the godlike Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen today. ;)